LilyFields Entertainment

Possible errors or (at least for me) unclear things:

ST002 - §3 - sentence 1: "Mistress Fun’gryu was not a clever woman, and she hadn’t any idea how clever her slave really was." shouldn't that read "...she hadn't had any idea..."?

ST003 - §2 - sentence 2: "Her aural bones were warped; stunted by her poor growth to the point that only major suregery might, might, repair them." wouldn't that be better with a dash: "...major surgery might -- might -- repair them."?

ST003 - §3 - sentence 4: "She’d fooled three masters to get where she was, and where she was was protected." would this be better: ...to get where she was, and where she was now she was protected."?

ST003 - §4 - sentence 5: "She was only eight Star-Standard Units of Age, nineteen Yerbran Cycles, which was far too young for someone as brilliant as she to die." is this supposed to be she and not her: "...brilliant as her to die"?

ST003 - §7 - last sentence: "Knowing one’s foe is the surest way to defeating him." shouldn't that be "...way to defeat him." or "...way of defeating him."?

ST003 - §8 - sentence 3: "In short, Not Fair." shouldn't "not fair" be small letters?...or is the capitalisation on purpose?

ST003 - §8 - last sentence and §9 - sentence 1: "...Home..." shouldn't that be small letters?...or is the capitalisation on purpose?

Good points.

I've thought about them, and I think I'll let them stand as they are. Mistress didn't know then and she still doesn't know. Although, if someone can haul out a grammar text and prove it *ought* to be the other way, I might change it.

I think I like the commas better than the dashes for "might". This falls under the heading of artistic interpretation, I think.

I know that "was was" is kind of clumsy, but that is a legitimate use of the grammar. Wait until you see "that that".

"... as brilliant as she (was) to die." That's why I didn't use "her;" there's an implied word deliberately left out.

"Way" as in "path"; there is a path or route to take to "defeating a foe." Yerbrans tend to think in terms of journeys.

Capitalization is always on purpose here. As is the use of "z" instead of "s"; I use American spelling and grammatical rules, unless I decide otherwise, which may or may not happen at whim. Or on purpose.

When a character refers to their Race's planet of Origin, she normally uses the capitalized "Home." When she's thinking or referring to the place she grew up or considers to be "home," she uses the small letters.

ST066 - §15 - last sentence: Typo: "As she mecahnically checked off the last item, verifying that it was in the crate, the bulky Prinffin delivery sentient offered an opinion as he detatched the grav-dolly." should be "mechanically"

mjkj

Ty, sir. As I said, I haven't had as much brain function to spare lately ...

*goes to fix*

S&S - last sentence: "She sheathed both of her swords easily and held a hand out the Wizard." I think there is a to missing: "...and held a hand out to the Wizard."

mjkj

S&S004 second part - §5 - sentence 2: "waer" should be "wear"?

S&S005 - §4 - sentence 4: "eloborate" should be "elaborate"?

S&S005 - §14 - sentence 2: "though" should be "through"?

mjkj

SaS006 - §6 - sentence 1: "...she quietly, examining..." there is a word missing like answered or replied: "...she replied quietly, examining..."

mjkj